Goodnight Sweetheart

Even when the boys are getting on my nerves or my patience is wearing this, as it was tonight during reading time with Keegan, all of that melts away when it's time for them to go to sleep. I was trying to be patient with Keegan tonight as we read Blues Clues Tells Time and he has to set the clock to the correct time, on EVERY PAGE! But I kept telling myself, be patient, he's learning. Ok, I was pretty patient. Then we read a couple stories from his bible. I was also patient as he tried to sound out the questions at the bottom of each story. I tried to be patient as he kept guessing instead of sounding out the first letter, for the millionth time. I tried to be patient as he kept being silly and dove off the bed to pick up his page marker and then wanted me to pull him back up by his feet. I definitely tried to be patient, but in the end I was ready to turn out the lights and go to sleep...I was impatient by that point.
Then Keegan asked me to scratch his back with my nails very lightly. He loves to have his back scratched. It relaxes him and it actually helped me relax. I kept thinking how incredibly soft his skin still is. Soft like a baby. At what point do you lose that softness? Then he asked me to cuddle him. OF COURSE! I love to cuddle him. I know there will come a day when he won't ask me to cuddle him anymore, but I bet he'll still ask for the back scratches :)
I had a double header tonight because after putting Keegan to sleep, Tanner wanted me to lay with him for bedtime, not daddy. It always makes you feel good when the kids pick you to put them to bed and lay with them. Tanner was so cute when praying tonight. His stomach has been upset and so of course he wanted to pray for it to feel better, but also for his ouchy on his finger....foot....and heal (which he had to take his foot out from under the covers to explain to me exactly where on his foot the ouchy was). So adorable.
I went for a run this morning around Soka University, across the street from our neighborhood. It was a beautiful morning with lots of bees buzzing, birds in the air, bunny rabbits and a gorgeous view by the gazebo. I stood there for a little while taking in the beauty of the morning and thanking God for this amazing world he made. It's hard not to think of how creative God is and how much he likes diversity when you look at nature. There are so many amazingly beautiful and different plants, flowers, birds, insects, you name it. And to look across the Saddleback Valley and see the mountains in the distance is beautiful.
For whatever reason it made me think of how God has always been there for me and has walked with me through every challenge. And He has already gone before me with whatever my future holds, so there's no need to worry. It's a wonderful peaceful feeling to know that He truly is in every detail of my life and will continue to be. I wish that peace could last through every minute of the day, but it seems so easy for me to take my eyes off God's beauty and omnipotence and get caught up in the problems of the day. That's what we all do. So, I'll continue to work at it and make time each day to focus on God and how amazing He is. A friend of mine once gave me an awesome message from her brother, who's a pastor in Chicago. He explained how God gives you these glimpses of His glory to keep you going on the gravel road we walk in this fallen world. It makes sense. If we constantly felt his presence and peace, why would we need heaven?